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Are You Ready To Heal?

Ok, so I get it. Healing is hard work. It's in no way linear and you will have good days and bad

days. Healing really requires you to dig in deep, see yourself, and face some things that you have no doubt mastered sweeping under the rug. Honestly, the thought of approaching the healing journey can be very intimidating. I remember how I used to feel when first starting my journey. I think I was going to my therapist for a little less than a year, before deciding to be honest about what had brought me to therapy in the first place, sexual assault. Part of my hesitancy was my lack of awareness of just how much sexual trauma had really affected my life. The other part of that was I didn't have the courage to really deal with the pain so I allowed myself to tiptoe around healing until I was ready. However, I eventually got to the place where I was ready to face my pain head-on and I haven't stopped since. Best decision I ever made. Not only has the trajectory of my life changed, but I changed this for my children as well.

I have to be honest with you, (because we are cool like that) when I considered the alternative, (low self-esteem, lack of awareness, inability to communicate, fear, guilt, shame, and lack of intimacy to name a few) I knew that I couldn't continue to live life very long in this low vibration. In fact, when I think back, I wasn't really living for myself at all and had become a master at convincing people that I was fine. I now realize I was in survival mode and was not at all SURVIVING. There is a difference. I had to make some changes so I began being honest about my pain. This of course started with me being honest with me. When I began to see myself, this meant I had to acknowledge that some of my pain was self-inflicted. This may sound strange considering we are talking about healing from sexual trauma however, I found it to be true.

Some of the pain I was experiencing was due to my perspective of my experience. I for so long saw my experience as something that made me weaker, so I of course then showed up in life the weaker version of myself. This of course lowered my vibration and ultimately made me feel worse about life and who I was as a whole. Furthermore, I saw myself as a victim so the only thing the universe brought to me was other situations for me to experience more victimization. I thought that my assault had broken me, therefore, I carried myself as a broken person. This list literally just went on and on. It wasn't until I began to choose to see myself differently did I truly begin to feel then experience less pain which

led to me having a well-rounded life. I stepped out of survival mode and into being a survivor. I believe it was Hippocrates that said, "Before you heal someone, ask him if he is willing to give up the things that made him sick." I had to give up the perspective that something was wrong with me. I had to give up the self-defeating mindset that comes with being violated.

So I ask you, are you ready to heal? What have you been keeping yourself from by deciding that the pain is bigger and stronger than you? How have you robbed yourself of inner peace, love, or experiences? How long do you think you will be able to continue functioning in not putting your healing as a priority? What are you sacrificing by choosing to not walk the journey?

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