When I was first introduced to the idea that I was created and was also a creator, I resisted the thought. I now understand that the only reason I resisted the thought was because I had been programmed by religion to reject this inner knowing. I had been programmed to believe that God was outside of me was in control of my life and I was created to be his humble servant.
See, I was a “PK” growing up, Pastors Kid. I was in church for what seemed to be all the time. In church, we were taught that for one to believe that they were just as powerful as God was blasphemy. Therefore, I lived my life from the perspective that I had no power and had to seek God for all things. I am sure that I am no different from you in that my spiritual journey has been just that, a journey. With each part of the journey, I have a new awareness and grow a bit more.
Somewhere around age 14, I began to search for a deeper understanding of the God that was presented to me in church. It was as though I intuitively knew that there was something more than what had been presented to me. Thankfully for me, my father had a huge library in the garage of our family home so I would often go there seeking to find answers to the questions that usually formed in my mind while listening to the Sunday sermon. It was difficult for me to believe that I was created to simply follow God. It was even harder for me to believe that God had created me in His own image (Genesis 1:26,27), and yet within myself had no real power to speak of. As I began to study this scripture and other spiritual writings, I discovered that I was missing the blessing in innerstanding that I, in my purest form am a mirrored representation of God. I was a physical representation of God. I was formed in the mind of God. Moreover, I began to understand that God was not this supreme being in the sky that was the director of my life. God was and is within me. This was a huge discovery for me because as I was becoming aware of this, I was also in a place in my journey of healing sexual trauma, where I needed to feel powerful. I needed to know that I had some control over the direction of my life.
While in the Doctorate of Metaphysics program, we were asked a pertinent yet cotroversial question, “Who is God?” Seemed like an easy enough question to answer right? Especially having been in church all my life you would think I had the answer on the tip of my tounge. This question sent me down a beautiful rabbit hole of information where I had the most beautiful awarenesses and discoveries. One of the greatest discoveries was not only the aforementioned, but also lead me to the discovery that if God was within me, this also meant that I had the ability to create just as well. I then began to look at what I had created. As challenging as it was for me to acknowledge (primarily because I didn’t like what I saw) I had created the life I was living. With each thought and decision made, I was responsible for crafting the version of life I was experiencing. As alarming as this thought was for me, it also calmed and reasured me. This also meant that I had the ability to create something else. Just as I had created what I didn’t want, I now had the awareness
that I could create the life I wanted.
Everysince this awareness, I have been paying much closer attention to my thoughts and what I allow to come out of my mouth.I have been busy creating the version of the life I want to live. I have fully stepped into my divine gift and power knowing that I am still to seek God for all things. The difference now is that I understand who God is to me. I no longer have to go through life feeling that God is an energy outside myself. Instead, I am that I am.
Does this school of thought resonate with you and if so, would you like to discuss the topic further? Or purhapse you are like me and are having challenges transitioning from religion to spirituality, feel free to schedule an appointment so we can chat more about it.